haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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