using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
