Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
