What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
