I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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