I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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