I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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