They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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