Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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