yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
