Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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