try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
