last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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