Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
