"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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