Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
