I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I am one with the molecules
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
