you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
