I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
