it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
