I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
