he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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