before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
