Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
