I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
