69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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