Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
