I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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