Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
