Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she peed on how many people?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
