I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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