Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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