haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
