i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
