Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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