I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
