The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
