so explain again why im purple
no
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
