come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
