Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
