im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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