his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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