don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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