Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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