You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
