Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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