I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I can't put those talents on a resume
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just gargled with NyQuil
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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