just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
