Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
