Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
